Hey.

So without sounding completely pretentious, allow me to explain my “health journey” or whatever. Whoops, already sounding like an arse. It’s not that trying to eat healthy is a bad thing, I guess it’s just that trying to eat healthy as a 15 year old girl can be seen as superficial. Which kind of sucks. For such a long time girls have been shamed for eating too much, but now society has reached a point where girls are more appealing if they’re “real”. Like the girl that eat a double burger with a side of fries is more likely to be approachable than the girl that eats a salad and a piece of fish. What I don’t get about that, is that society is now accepting eating more food, but is still hesitant to accept looking like what eating a burger and fries will do to you. It’s kind of a double standard if you ask me.

So this is why I don’t want to start a blog (like my mom wants me to). As a matter of fact, let me create a list for you. I love lists.

  • By starting a blog–a blog about eating healthy–I’ll look like one of those four year olds that puts on their parent’s glasses, and attempts to read a novel that has words with more syllables than their age, all under the illusion that they look like a grownup.
  • Or maybe I’ll look like one of those 9 year olds that try to wear makeup to school. It’s like no, you’re a kid. What are you doing. Stop.
  • Even at school when I turn down a cupcake, I feel like people are judging me. And I hate that because there is no balance. Eat three cupcakes–you’re ridiculous. Eat zero cupcakes–you’re either a square, or anorexic. By starting a blog, I am putting myself out there to the world. Labeling myself “Annoying Health Nut #19DSJ63”
  • Which leads me to putting myself out there in general. It’s just that people probably don’t care about all of this. Most likely, A) You won’t find my blog, and B) Even if you do, you’ll skip all of the blog-y stuff, and go straight to my killer recipes. Which I understand. I do that too. When I read a blog I skip all of the “My kids Teegan and Margo have really been keeping me on my toes lately. Luckily these [insert mason jar related DIY project] have served as a distraction for them! They even asked me to make more!” I just skip to the DIY project.
  • This is kind of a lie because I never do DIY projects. Ever. Period.
  • The real reason, I guess, that I don’t want to start a blog about this, is because I don’t want people to think that the reason is to look more like a Covergirl, or a Vogue model, or whatever other airbrushed fashion magazines there are.

So you ask me: Why then? Why are you cutting out lemon cake from your diet? That is the ultimate sacrifice.

And I will say: Alright, now we’re onto the whole “Health Journey” crap. To sum it all up, this started because I wanted to lose 10 pounds of fat for track, in exchange for more muscle. If you’re going to call me a Health Freak, than you better call me a Track Freak too. That’s me. I love sprinting. Love, love, love. I also want to be the best, and I’ll do whatever it takes to get closer to my goal. That started out with eating less junk food, and then it turned into this entire new lifestyle that I’ve adapted. There’s this guy named Dr. Rosedale (http://drrosedale.com/#axzz43eAbXQu9), and he has a diet where you eat low carbs, high fat, and less protein than you’d think. You start out super restrictive, and once your body starts burning fat rather than going straight to the carbs, you can broaden your horizons a bit more. It’s terribly sad because I often find myself scrolling through food accounts on Instagram just to pretend that I’m eating Nutella stuffed croissants (YUMMMMM), and I can’t even eat raspberries at this point, but I know that it’ll be worth it.

One of the weirdest things for me, from this whole experience, is realizing, in retrospect, just how much I trashed my body. Now I can’t unsee it. The American diet is kind of wretched. I’m not going to be that friend that shames everyone for what they’re eating, but I just watch from the sidelines, torn between wanting to ask for a piece of that cookie, and torn between wanting to knock it straight out of their hands because holy heck that alone would throw me over my carb limit. 

It’s a struggle. This entire thing is. But hey, at least you’ll have more recipes to make this a bit easier for both of us!

Signing out,

Cari